My Heart Will Go On
by sports 9
Summary: Remus dies in the Battle of Hogwarts.  Tonks doesn't.  She is having a hard time when she finds the scrapbook Ginny gave her.  From the time they met, to the time they fell in love, to the time he died.  Semi-Songfic but also a chapter.
1. The First Meeting

**My Heart Will Go On:**

**Summary:**** Remus dies in the Final Battle, Tonks doesn't. Now she's living with her mom and raising Teddy without him.**

**Rating:**** T (For some rape and language (actually I don't think there is bad language))**

**Disclaimer:**** Don't own Harry Potter or the Song. But both are amazing.**

**A/N:**** Basically it is just a scrapbook and she is remembering from the time she met him to the time he died. Hopefully a tearjerker, it was for me when writing it but that is because I can get emotional easily.**

_**3 It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but a lifetime to forget someone. – Anonymous 3**_

_**Every night in my dreams**_

_**I see you, I feel you**_

Nymphadora Tonks woke up in a cold sweat, on the ground.

Her dreams had led her back to the day Remus died. The way he reached out to her, took her in a hug, saw the green light coming at her, threw her to the side, and took the spell for her.

She had gone after his killer for revenge. But when she couldn't defeat them, she ran back to him and cried.

_**That is how I know you **_

_**Go on**_

Knowing she wouldn't fall back asleep, she found the scrapbook that Ginny gave her and looked at it.

_**Far across the distance**_

_**And spaces between us**_

The first memory was how they met

_She was going to her first Order meeting, ever. She didn't know why, but she was excited. This was weird, because the order meant Voldemort and fighting till the death for the better of the world._

_She walked into the building with Kingsley and Mad-eye. She saw the dining room, and stopped surprised by all the food. Mad-eye and Kingsley had left her behind. She took a step when she tripped over something. Prepared for the crash, she didn't feel one. Instead she felt strong arms grab her and lift her up._

"_You must be the newcomer I've heard about from Sirius."_

"_Sirius!" she said excitedly, "Wait, what has he told you?"_

"_Only that you're his clumsy cousin."_

"_What a way to first meet someone, for them to know you're clumsy and to trip."_

_He laughed a hearty laugh, "I'm Remus Lupin."_

"_Nymphadora Tonks, but call me Tonks, or you will never have children."_

"_I can't have children when I don't have a girlfriend, and there's something else."_

"_What?"_

"_Now's not the time."_

_So they walked into the dining room."_

Her heart had somewhat fluttered when he said he didn't have a girlfriend, but it also left her curious to the other reason.


	2. Tonks Figures Out

_**You have come to show you **_

_**Go on**_

Tonks looked at the next memory, the day she figured out about him being a werewolf.

_Tonks walked into the kitchen to get some coffee. Remus was there already drinking some. He looked more scarred than usual considering last night was a full moon._

"_Remus, you look like crap. Were you afraid the big bad werewolves were going to get you?" Tonks teased._

"_I should only be so lucky, much easier to worry about." Remus mumbled._

"_Pardon?"_

"_Nymphadora, I think it is time I told you something."_

"_It's Tonks, Remus, and what?" she asked concerned._

"_I'm a werewolf."_

_Her face took the look of shock, not fear, only shock. He didn't seem at all the type, most were dark wizards. Shock at the fact he trusted her enough to tell her that._

"_I'm sorry. I won't hate you if you run away and never talk to me again."_

"_Why would I do that?"_

"_Because I'm a dangerous creature. And your face told it all."_

"_No, I'm sorry, I was just thinking that you don't fit the type at all. I mean you're kind, generous, responsible, respectful, sweet, the nicest person I know, and handsome. Basically the complete opposite of werewolves."_

"_So you're not scared?"_

"_No."_

"_Okay, good." He smiled as he took another sip_

She couldn't believe that day that he had enough trust to tell her that. But again her heart fluttered at the fact that he did.


	3. Christmas

_**Near , far wherever you are**_

_**I believe that the heart does**_

_**Go on**_

The next memory made her smile and cry at the same time. The next memory was the Christmas party, a.k.a Sirius' plan.

"_Sirius, we need to talk."_

"_Alright Molly, but make it quick because Tonks is coming over and my favorite show is on 'Moony and Tonksie: Obviously In Love'"_

_That's what I was going to talk to you about. I need you to decorate the place all over with mistletoe. It's obvious Remus fancies Nymphadora, and she him."_

"_Good plan, I'll do that."_

_Tonks walked in the front door. When she looked around, she noticed on thing in particular, lots and lots of mistletoe, but then again, that was just like Sirius._

"_Tonks you're here!" Sirius yelled, only slightly drunk, "Everybody, I have an announcement. There are a few rules to the mistletoes. Rule #1: You have to kiss. Rule #2: If you are a dude and dude or a chick and chick, you don't have to but if you want to that is okay with me. Rule #3: If you are brother and sister, or cousins, or any of that sort, you __**CAN'T**__ kiss. And that's it. Party up everyone."_

_For as much mistletoe as there were, few people got caught under them. Sirius and Hestia, 3 times and now they are both missing, Molly and Arthur, Ginny and Harry, Ron and Hermione, Tonks and Bill, Bill and Fleur, and then_

"_FINALLY!" Molly shouted, as Sirius, who had returned recently, started the chorus of "Kiss the Girl"._

_Tonks' face and hair turned beat red, while Remus looked away._

"_Rules say you have to." Sirius said in a sing-song voice._

"_Kiss. KIss. KISs. KISS." Everyone started cheering._

_Remus finally looked at Tonks, and leaned in slowly, and… kissed her._

_Tonks wrapped her arms around his neck, and he rested his on her waist. The kiss was getting deeper, really deep, when…_

"_I don't mean to interrupt something that should have happened ages ago, but could you get a room, I'm having a party here."_

_Tonks' hair turned really red again, while Remus mumbled something about a book and walked off._

"_Sirius, I hate you. You're a stupid git. That was what I've been waiting 3 months for, and you broke it up just at the good part! What do you have to say for yourself?"_

"_You're welcome."_

"_For what?"_

"_2 things, getting you two to kiss, and by making you stop."_

"_How is stopping us worthy of a thank you?"_

"_Because now he will want you. If you had gone all the way and had sex, he would have left you, he would still want you, but not as much since he got you. Now he will want you, all the time, until he just can't bear it and gives in."_

"_I didn't think of that. Thanks Sirius."_

"_Now if you excuse me, I need to find Hestia."_

"_UGH, gross Sirius."_

Tonks was fully crying now, tears running down her face. Tears that wouldn't stop. Tears that Remus would have wiped away **(A/N: this sentence made me cry writing it)**


	4. Sirius's Funeral

_**Once more, you open the door**_

_**You're here in my heart and **_

_**My heart will go on and on**_

Tonks could barely see the pages now. But she could see enough, Sirius' funeral and the first rejection.

_Tonks sat down, her eyes already red and blotchy from crying. She had decided on shoulder length black spiral curly hair, until she cried and it turned mousy brown and straight again._

_Everyone knew this wasn't going to be a big funeral. Only the Order was invited, and Tonks' parents. This was the spot Tonks choose to sit in, the one next to her parents._

"_May I sit here Nymphadora?"_

_Tonks attempted to say 'don't call me that'. But she couldn't because it was Remus and it sounded so nice when he said it._

"_Sure Remus." She said very shakily._

_Remus took her in a hug and rubbed her back as she cried._

_What neither of them noticed was Andromeda's disgusted look, and Emmaline Vance walking up._

"_Andromeda, we need to talk." Ted said noticing her face. So they got up and left._

"_Hello Remus," Emmaline said sweetly, "Nymphadora." She said bitterly._

"_Hello Emmaline." They said simultaneously._

"_I'm so sorry for your loss Remus. I know how you two were best friends."_

"_Are best friends. He will always be my best friend."_

"_I'm sorry. Hmm, Nymphadora it's so nice of you to finally look normal for something. I expected something to make you the center of attention, even at you cousins funeral."_

"_Well I was thinking of scaring everybody by looking bloody disgusting, but I figured your face would be too disgusting for here."_

"_Well your face is doing just perfect. Remus I don't know how you look at it as much as you do. I really don't get how you kissed it at Christmas."_

"_That kiss Emmaline, for one I thank the lord every day I didn't have with you. And that kiss was the best thing that has ever happened to me."_

"_Whatever." Emmaline walked away._

"_She's kind of a bitch." Remus looked at Tonks, who was almost in tears, "Don't let it get to you Tonks, she's just jealous."_

"_No, she just hates me, for my ability, for kissing you, for my father being muggle-born, for everything. Sirius and I used to sit and make fun of her." Tonks said and started crying again. Remus held her as he had before._

"_I love all those things about you." He whispered to her as he hugged her._

_The funeral went on as a normal funeral. But soon the end came._

"_Remus I need to talk to you."_

"_Okay Nymphadora?" they walked somewhere private._

"_I LOVE YOU." She burst out._

"_You… you what?"_

"_I LOVE YOU! The kiss on Christmas was the happiest time I've had in years. Remus… what do you say?"_

"_I don't know. I love you too," Tonks' face lit up, "But I'm too old for you, I'm definitely too poor, and I'm a werewolf, I way too bloody dangerous for you." Her face fell now._

"_But Remus-" her hair fell limp now_

"_I'm sorry Nymphadora." He kissed her on the lips then walked away apparating to 12 Grimmauld Place, but not before he saw the fresh tears fall down her face, tears that had nothing to do with her cousin._

Tonks couldn't help but think of how far they had come since that moment, but now it was all ripped away by one simple spell.


	5. Remus Leaves

_**Love can touch just one time**_

_**And last for a lifetime**_

By this time Teddy was crying, so Tonks went and got him. Then sat down and they looked together. The next memory was while she was stationed at Hogsmeade.

_She had just got done saving Harry from the Express and brought him to the castle. She was lying in her bed trying to sleep, but crying instead._

_She got the next day off, so she decided to wander Hogsmeade. What she didn't realize was that today Dawlish got the day off too._

"_Hello Tonks."_

"_Dawlish."_

"_Now what is a fine woman like you doing wandering the streets alone?"_

"_Umm, I'm just getting used to everything. I mean, I'm going to be here for a while." She said looking around and refused to meet his eyes._

"_What ever happened to your colorful hair Tonks? Now it's always brown."_

"_I don't feel like morphing."_

"_Well you're beautiful either way."_

"_Thanks-" but she was but off by his lips on hers. She quickly pulled back._

_But he grabbed her arms and tried to pull her in again, while she struggled against it._

_Suddenly there was a flash of light and Tonks was paralyzed, him dragging her to her room in The 3 Broomsticks._

_He threw her on the bed, took off his pants and shirt, crawled on the bed, and started kissing her all over. Tears fell down her face._

_He had just started unbuttoning her jeans when the door slammed open and there was another flash of light. Suddenly Tonks could move again as Dawlish fell to the floor, stunned._

_Tonks curled up in a ball and cried. She felt Remus lay down next to her, wrap an arm around her protectively and comfortingly._

_About half-an-hour later, she had finally calmed down._

"_Why are you here Remus?"_

"_I'm saving your butt." He joked_

"_I mean really?"_

"_Because I am leaving today and I wanted to spend the day with you."_

_They had already gotten rid of Dawlish and made sure that he was no longer stationed at Hogwarts._

"_Well when do you leave?"_

"_In about 6 hours."_

"_What do you want to do?"_

"_Do you want to go out to eat?"_

"_Sure." Tonks said grabbing her cloak and leaving with Remus._

_So they went out to eat for about 2 hours, and then spent 2 more hours at a movie. By the time they finished the movie, they couldn't resist each other. They barely apparated into her room when he had her shirt off and she his pants._

_Later they were talking._

"_What does this mean Remus?" Tonks asked her hair back to its usual pink._

"_That I have half-an-hour before I have to leave." He said kissing her shoulder then her neck._

_Suddenly realization hit him. He got up quickly and started putting on his clothes._

"_Remus what-"_

"_This was a mistake Nymphadora. I'm way too dangerous now. If Greyback figures out and he finds out about you he would take no mercy."_

"_Remus stop moving for a damn minute." She said angrily. "I'm an auror damn it, I'm trained to stop people like Greyback."_

"_I'm sorry Nymphadora." He said kissing her and turning to leave. But before he closed the door, she turned to look at her. Her hair had gone mousy brown again and she had tears running down her face. But he shut the door and left for his mission._

_That night and every night after Tonks dreamt of Remus, and he of her._

Tonks wished Remus could hold her again like he had that night.


	6. The Second Christmas

_**And never let go till**_

_**We're gone**_

Teddy had calmed down and stopped crying seeing his dad. The next memory was of Christmas again.

_Molly was pretty much Tonks' mom, so when she got a call about Christmas it didn't surprise her._

_Ring Ring… Ring Ring…_

"_Hello?"_

"_Ah Nymphadora, I was just calling to see if you would like to come over for Christmas?"_

"_I don't know Molly."_

"_Oh come on, Bill will be here, and Charlie, Kingsley, Mad-eye, Remus, and-"_

"_No thanks Molly."_

"_Nymphadora, now would be the perfect time for you two to spend quality time together."_

"_Molly I don't want to talk to him, so no thanks. But you and Ginny give him lots of hate for me."_

"_Nympha-"_

"_Tonks." She said strictly._

"_Sorry, Tonks, can I ask you something?"_

"_Go ahead."_

"_Do you still love him?"_

"_Very much."_

"_Do you miss him dear?"_

"_Every minute of every day, Molly."_

"_Alright, good bye Tonks, and if you change your mind, you're welcome to come."_

"_Thanks Molly."_

_Remus had arrived at the burrow. He expected Tonks to be there… he wanted Tonks to be there. He wanted to see her again._

"_Hello Remus."_

"_Hello Molly."_

_Ginny walked in the kitchen with Ron and Harry._

"_Mum, when is Tonks coming?"_

"_Umm, she's not coming Ginny," Molly gave Remus a glare that didn't go unnoticed by the others, "she had other plans."_

_The night went on, and around 7 Remus had finally made up his mind._

"_Thanks for everything Molly. Am I staying here tonight?"_

"_It depends." Ginny had answered._

"_Thank you, I'm going out for a while." He said getting up and Molly gave him a knowing smile._

_Tonks heard the doorbell ring and she opened the door to reveal Remus. Who cupped her face and kissed her with all his might._

_They spent the night together cuddling. For the first night in months Tonks didn't have Remus haunt her dreams, he was in them for better reasons._

_When Tonks woke up the next morning, she smelt pancakes. She walked into the kitchen to see Remus cooking._

"_Good morning sleepyhead."_

"_Morning Remus." She walked over and kissed him._

"_I need to go to the Burrow to get fresh clothes, so get ready."_

"_Remus?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_When do you go back?"_

"_Tomorrow, so we're spending all day together."_

_So Tonks got ready, they went to the burrow, and they spent all day together._

_That night they both ate at the burrow._

"_Tonks, I'm so glad you decided to eat with us tonight." Ginny said excitedly, "Are you staying tonight?"_

"_Umm maybe." She said looking at Remus._

"_You can stay in my room!" Ginny squealed._

"_Yay." Tonks responded half-heartedly looking again at Remus._

_After everyone had gone to bed, Tonks made a fake person and snuck into Remus' room._

"_It's about time she fell asleep." Tonks laid down on his bed while he changed into his pajamas, which was normally just boxers._

_Then he crawled on top of her and kissed her shoulder, up to her neck, up her jaw bone, finally kissing her lips. Then he removed her pajama bottoms quickly._

_When they finally woke up, they walked downstairs to go eat. All the Weasley except Ron and Ginny, and Harry were there._

_Both of them sat down to eat as Molly served them omelets._

"_Gee Georgie, you should have heard it last night… I can't believe you didn't." they continued their conversation._

"_I didn't."_

"_Well I couldn't sleep from it. I thought the house was going to collapse."_

"_What are you talking about?" Ginny asked, she had come in just as Fred started talking._

"_A couple of people in this house got some last night." Fred informed her._

_Tonks and Remus' faces turned bright red, but they hid it and Tonks tried to focus on purple so her hair wouldn't change to bright red._

"_Got some what?"_

"_You know Ginny, boy-girl." George explained._

"_Oh… who?" _

"_We don't know." Fred answered._

"_We'll figure out. Who's above you?"_

_That afternoon Tonks saw Remus to the castle. Once again Dumbledore was absent and no one knew where he was. _

_Once in Dumbledore's office, she knew it was now or never._

"_Remus, I still love you."_

"_And I still love you, but you know we can't be together."_

"_Remus, why not?"_

"_You know why not."_

"_So you've just been using me?"_

"_No, I do what I do so I don't miss you as much when I'm gone."_

"_Remus, but-"_

"_I'm sorry Nymphadora." Remus kissed her on the lips, and walked through the portal as the tears fell down her face._

Fred and George never did find out.


	7. Snape

_**Love was when I loved you**_

_**One true time I hold to**_

The next memory made her both laugh and cry because Snape was in it. Oh how she would miss him.

_Tonks was wandering the castle looking for Dumbledore because she had heard of an attack by Greyback and she was worried._

_That was when she ran into something… or someone._

"_Lumos." But nothing was there. That was when the cloak fell off, "Harry?"_

"_Tonks? What are you doing here?" he offered her his hand and she accepted._

"_I came to see Dumbledore."_

"_His office isn't-"_

"_I know. Have you heard of all the attacks by Greyback?"_

"_Yeah I've been reading the Daily-"_

"_The newspapers are often behind times." She interrupted angrily._

"_Oh." Was all Harry could say, who seemed shocked at her sudden outburst._

"_Have you heard from anyone in the Order?" the truth was she was referring to Remus, the fact that he hadn't written her since Christmas worried her._

"_No. No one in the Order writes me anymore. Not since Sirius-" but Harry stopped as the tears filled her eyes._

"_I'm sorry, I miss him too."_

"_What?" She asked coming back to reality. Because Tonks was thinking of Remus, and their first kiss, not Sirius, "Sorry, I have to go." And she walked away._

_She was wandering around when she ran into someone else._

"_Still clumsy in your depressed stage?" someone sneered._

"_Of all the people, I had to run into you." She said as she accepted his hand to help her up._

"_Actually, I was looking for you. Come into my office so we can talk."_

"_Okay?" she questioned, following him._

_He poured 2 glasses of firewhiskey and handed one to her._

"_What is this about Severus?"_

"_Well, you've seemed kind of down. I figured, I know how you feel, so we could talk."_

"_You've had your heart ripped right from your chest?"_

"_Yes actually, Lily Evans. She and I were always best friends, even though I felt more. Then she ran off and married James Potter. But I left it alone. I just wanted her to be happy." Snape downed his drink, trying to forget everything._

"_Men suck!" Tonks said outraged. "That's all they ever want is for you to be happy, like Remus. But I'm obviously not happy. In order to conjure a patronus, I have to think of him, then my damn patronus changed!" she was angrier yet._

"_Remus is an idiot to let someone like you get away. I mean you're fun, out-going, loving, kind, sweet, but most of all, you're a very beautiful young witch. Now I'm not saying I like you in that way, I'm just saying Remus is more stupid than James and Sirius."_

"_Thank you Severus." She said, almost in tears. "I really think Lily made the wrong choice between you and Potter."_

"_Thank you Nymphadora."_

"_But if she had then we wouldn't all be in this mess. You would be happy with her, and the Order would have never formed, and then reformed, so I would have never met Remus, and he wouldn't be a werewolf, and I wouldn't feel this way because of the last 2 reasons."_

"_That's really true. It's funny how the world works."_

"_Yeah. But I really must be going now, I have early work tomorrow."_

"_Okay, I'll see you around."_

Snape had acted a lot different that night. Then he killed Dumbledore, but then everyone figured out that he really was on the Order's side. **(A/N: I know I'm sorry Snape is so OOC but I just really wanted a chapter where he is really nice and sweet and admits his feelings for Lily. So I'm very sorry)**


	8. Battle Of The Astronomy Tower

_**In my life, I'll always**_

_**Go on**_

The next memory made Tonks shudder, it was the battle of Hogwarts, the first one. She still remembers Greyback fully, even in his death.

_Remus ran into Ron, Ginny, and Neville while he, Tonks, and Bill were patrolling the corridors._

"_Death Eaters are attacking!" Ron said hurriedly._

"_Like who?"_

"_I don't know them all but I know I saw Lestrange, Greyback, and-"_

"_Oh no." he said more to himself, he knew Greyback took no mercy. "Okay Ron, I have to go."_

"_So you're the fair haired beauty Remus always talks about?" Tonks heard the voice behind her._

_She knew instantly it was Greyback, so she whipped around,_

"_Stup-"_

"_Crucio." He was quicker, and Tonks fell to the floor in pain._

"_Petrificus Totalus." She went motionless. "I think I know why Remus is so in love with you." He said kneeling beside her and stroking her hair, "You're very beautiful."_

_Tears ran down Tonks' face as he pulled off her jeans._

_When he got done, he dressed her as well as himself._

"_Well that was fun." He sneered, "But I'm not finished with you yet." He said drawing his wand. "Crucio."_

_She writhed in pain._

"_Crucio."_

_More pain hit her._

"_Avada-"_

"_Petrificus Totalus." Someone yelled._

_Tonks felt herself be able to move again, and Greyback fell to the ground._

"_Nymphadora, are you okay?"_

"_No, Remus, I'm not, and it's Tonks." She said angrily, telling herself she wouldn't let him work her like a puppet again._

"_I'm sorry, Tonks, are you able to fight? Death Eaters are in the castle."_

"_Yes Lupin, I can fight, and I kind of figured that out when I got raped by one."_

"_I'm so sorry Nymph-"_

"_Tonks! And I don't need your sympathy. I'm fine. I can take care of myself, I don't need a babysitter Remus." She yelled angrily, but also almost crying._

"_Obviously you do Nymphadora- don't try to correct me-, you're acting like a child. Anyways if it wasn't for me, he probably would have killed you." He yelled back._

"_If it wasn't for you… If it wasn't for you." She laughed, "If it wasn't for you my hair wouldn't be this color." She grabbed a handful to show him, "My patronus wouldn't be a werewolf. I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be a mess, and I wouldn't have gotten raped because I could have fought him." She was crying now._

"_Nymphadora, I'm sorry, but you know we can't be together."_

"_Screw you Remus." She left to join the battle._

She had never been so angry in all her life.


	9. Finally Together

_**Near, far, wherever you are**_

_**I believe that the heart does**_

_**Go on**_

The next memory was much happier, how they got together.

_Fleur and Mrs. Weasley had just had a scene about Bill being a werewolf, and were now crying on each other._

"_You see!" Tonks' strained voice said and she glared at Remus. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"_

"_It's different," Remus said barely moving his lips, looking at the floor, and was suddenly very tense, "Bill will not be a complete werewolf. These cases are completely-"_

"_But I don't care either, I don't care!" Tonks had seized the front of his robes and was shaking them, "I've told you a million times…"_

"_And I've told you a million times," Remus refused to meet her eyes, "that I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous…"_

"_I've said all along, you're taking a ridiculous line on this Remus." Molly exclaimed over Fleur's shoulder._

"_I'm not being ridiculous, Tonks deserves someone young and whole."_

"_But she wants you," Mr. Weasley smile, "and young and whole people don't always remain so." He gestured towards his son._

"_This is… not the moment to discuss it," Lupin looked around, avoiding everyone's eye, distractedly, "Dumbledore is dead…"_

"_Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in this world." McGonagall finished before the doors opened and Hagrid walked in._

_Once Harry, Hagrid, and McGonagall left, Tonks gestured for Remus to follow her._

"_Nymphadora, I'm-"_

"_Remus just listen to me for a change. I'm sorry for blowing up after everything that happened with Greyback. I was just trying to avoid letting you in my heart, again, but I realized I can't do that. I still love you Remus, even after everything that has happened between us. So I have a question. Do you-"_

"_Yes."_

"_You don't even know what I was going to ask."_

"_I love you. And you know what? I'm tired of running from love. Will you give me another chance Nymphadora?_

"_Are you going to walk out again?"_

"_No, I promise I won't."_

"_Alright I will." So Remus leaned in and kissed her._

He only walked out on her one more time after that. Now, now it felt as if he'd done it again, only this time he can't come back.


	10. The Wedding

_**Once more, you open the door**_

_**And you're here in my heart and **_

_**My heart will go on**_

The next memory was the happiest day of her life, their wedding.

_Of course first is the proposal._

_They were sitting on the end of the dock with their feet hanging down. Tonks sat in her hot pink polka dot bikini and Remus in his green trunks. They had been dating for 1 month now. _

"_This time one year ago, I confessed my love for you and then ran like a coward. I'm so sorry Nymphadora."_

"_For what?"_

"_Being a stupid coward."_

"_You weren't a coward. You were just scared for my safety."_

"_Exactly. But there was a reason I brought you here, love."_

"_Why?"_

"_It was in this spot I first fell in love with you. And I couldn't think of a better place to do this."_

_Remus got on one knee and pulled out a diamond ring._

"_Oh Remus."_

"_Nymphadora Tonks, I love you more than you could know. So I have something very important to ask you. Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes!" she yelled. He put the ring on her finger and she tackled him in a hug._

_Remus just cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes. Then kissed her every so passionately._

_Then they sat up again and put their feet on the end of the dock._

"_Remus… Can I ask you something?"_

"_You just did, but yes."_

"_How did you afford this, not to be nosy? But I don't want you to waste all your money on me."_

"_No worries. Before Sirius died," he saw the pain in her face, "he talked to me about loving you. He gave me a lot of money just to pay for the ring and the entire wedding."_

"_That was sweet of him."_

"_Well, what do you want to do now?" he looked at her and the tears running down her face from the mention of Sirius._

"_I don't know." Remus stood up and puller her up with him. Then he held her close to him as she cried into his chest. "I just can't believe he's really gone, and it's been over a year."_

"_I know love, I know."_

_They just stood there for a few minutes as she cried. That was when Remus got an idea. He put one hand under her knees and lifted her up, then he started walking towards the lake._

"_No Remus. No, don't do it." She clung onto his neck. Then he jumped in._

_They both came to the surface laughing. But Tonks only threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He responded eagerly putting his on her waist under the water. They just kissed for a while. Then Remus lifted Tonks up and threw in the water again._

"_UGH, Remus!" she said wiping the water from her face._

"_I love you." He said sweetly and kissed her._

"_How can I be mad at you when you do that?"_

"_You can't."_

"_What do you say? Should we go back to my flat and celebrate our engagement?" she smiled evilly._

"_I'd love to." He kissed her again and lifted her legs so they wrapped around him as her hands entangled in his hair._

_The wedding was less than 3 weeks later. They knew that they had to do it soon for the war was rising. They also had to do it before they rescued Harry because of the chance of death was high in that battle, if the death eaters knew, if not it would be smooth sailing._

"_Dora, sweetie, are you ready to go?" Ted Tonks stood in his tux waiting for his daughter._

_Tonks' dress tied behind the back and it was tight at the top, but flowed out after her waist._

"_Just one second." Tonks replied._

_Then she scrunched up her face, making her hair the same color as Remus', and her eyes turn an icy blue._

"_You look beautiful Dora. I love you so much. And I'm so proud of you." Ted Tonks put her veil on for her, gave her a hug, then linked arms, and they started towards the church doors and the aisle. When they got to the alter, Remus took her._

"_You look beautiful, I love you." He whispered to her quickly as Ted kissed her cheek._

"_I love you too."_

_The wedding was just like a usual wedding. But it was a lot smaller. Only the Weasleys, Hermione, Kingsley, Mad-eye, Tonks' parents, McGonagall, Fleur, Hestia Jones (Tonks Order friend and childhood friend as they grew up in Hufflepuff together), and Remus' uncle (who raised him after his mother died) were invited._

_Hermione and Ginny were her bridesmaids. Bill and George were his groomsmen._

_They had their first dance to "A Thousand Years" by Christina Peri._

Tonks smiled at this memory as she ate breakfast and Andromeda fed Teddy.


	11. Rescuing Harry

_**You're here**_

_**There's nothing I fear**_

The next memory was the 2nd time her and Remus rescued Harry from the Dursley's.

_Tonks was nervous. She was 1 week late. Yes she'd been late and early before, but not by this much._

_So many things were going through her head at this time. How would she tell Remus? How would Remus react? Would this child be lycanthropic? Was it even a baby? Should she go rescue Harry tonight? But at the time she couldn't answer any of these questions._

"_Nymphadora, are you ready to go to the burrow? We have 35 minutes."_

"_Ready Remus. I'll be right down." She wiped away the last of her tears, grabbed her travelling cloak, and went downstairs._

"_Love, what's wrong?" Remus looked extremely concerned._

"_Nothing Remus, let's go."_

"_Nymphadora, there's something wrong."_

"_Remus I'll be alright, let's go." She said sternly._

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise!"_

"_Because if you aren't at your best, I don't want you-"_

"_Remus!"_

"_Okay let's go."_

_They got to the burrow with time to spare before Moody's big speech. Tonks had a bet with Bill going on how many times he would say "constant vigilance" during the speech. Tonks was saying 5, Bill 15._

_When they got to the burrow, Remus went straight to Arthur, and Tonks went to Bill. Tonks knew Fleur hated her because of her and Bill's friendship. Tonks and Bill always pretended to love each other, and Fleur hated that._

"_So Bill, I guess starting next week I will have to stop sending you anonymous flowers, stop hitting on you, and stop trying to win your heart over." They both started laughing, Fleur, on the other hand, huffed and walked away._

"_You made me stop doing that 1 month ago."_

"_Oh, but I love you so much, how could I have done that?"_

"_By marring a man who would rip me to shreds if I tried." They both laughed again._

"_You know, you seem to have a thing for older men."_

"_Why's that Bill?"_

"_Well you started out liking me." Tonks thought back to when they dated, "And I'm 4 years older than you. Then you fell in love with and married Remus, 13 years older. Next thing you'll be saying you cry yourself to sleep because Dumbledore was your secret boy toy, who was 139 years older."_

"_No, I couldn't do that to McGonagall." They both laughed, remembering what they both caught their ex-professors doing. "Anyways, I like older men more because they are better in bed, more energetic!" They both laughed._

"_Geez, think of Dumbledore and McGonagall then."_

"_EWW." They said in sync with their faces scrunched._

"_Anyways, Bill I have something to tell you."_

"_What is it Tonks?"_

"_I think I might be pregnant." She whispered in his ear._

"_Oh my… Congratulations!"_

"_But I don't know how Remus will take it, and I'm not even for sure yet."_

"_Are you sure you should be going tonight then?"_

"_Why?"_

"_Well you are putting the baby's life and mental state in jeopardy."_

"_But I don't know yet."_

"_Tonks-"_

"_Never mind Bill." She walked away furious._

"_Tonks, wait." She stopped and turned towards him._

"_What?"_

_He walked up to her._

"_Are you worried?"_

"_For what?" she had calmed down completely._

"_That it will be lycanthropic?"_

"_I don't know yet, I'm just in shock."_

"_I still don't think you should go tonight."_

"_Yeah well, I didn't ask for your opinion Bill." She said furious yet again._

_Tonks walked away to Remus._

"_Nymphadora, I know something is really bothering you." She was almost in tears, she was so mad._

"_It's nothing, really Remus."_

"_Tonks I don't-" but he was cut off by Moody starting his speech._

_In the end Tonks won the bet as Moody said it 11 times._

"_Jones and Diggle have left with the Dursleys, let's go." _

_Everyone left and Ginny and Molly stood in the door, worried._

_When they got there, Moody explained the plan to Harry, then they were off._

_Tonks was with Ron, and Remus with George._

"_Hold on tight, Ron." Tonks joked before they left. But she didn't miss the guilty look he gave Remus before he put both hands on her waist. That made her smile._

_As soon as they took off, Death Eaters surrounded them. Bellatrix Lestrange was one of them. Of course Bellatrix had come to finish what she'd started in the Department of Mysteries 2 years ago._

_Killing spell after killing spell shot at her. Luckily Ron was there. He had a protection spell on them. And he was sending spells their way also. Eventually they got to his Aunt Muriel's house. But they had missed their portkey, which earned them a lecture. Son enough they got another portkey to the Burrow and arrived there._

_Tonks thought it was soon enough… Remus didn't. She ran and gave him a hug._

"_Where have you been? What Held you? You were supposed to be here before me, you had less to travel. You had me so worried about you two." His hand went to her stomach._

_Did he know? He couldn't, she only just figured out herself. Actually she wasn't for sure yet. Did Bill tell him? No Bill would let her tell him herself. A thousand other thoughts went through her head before she realized he was waiting for her answer._

"_It was Bellatrix. She wants me almost as bad as Harry." They hugged again. "And what two people are you talking about?"_

"_You and Ron of course." He answered too quickly._

"_Right of course."_

_After everyone got back, Bill announced Mad-eye's death. Tonks cried the hardest. He was her mentor and friend. Bill and Remus decided to go get his body, this shocked Tonks more._

"_What if the death eaters know you will return and wait for you and… and …" she couldn't bring herself to say those two words, kill you._

_But she went home eventually, and about 30 minutes after, he was home too. But all he did was go to her on the couch and kiss her with as much force as possible._

"_I wanted… to do this… earlier… but we couldn't… at the… Burrow."_

"_Remus stop." She said pushing him off her._

"_I'm sorry, just the thought of you dying made me want you."_

"_Remus we need to talk." She thought of the pregnancy test she took when she got home._

"_You're pregnant, aren't you?"_

_Tonks gasped with surprise._

"_Yes… how'd you know?"_

"_I knew you were late. Then the way you've been acting. Oh and the fact that you're getting fatter!" Remus joked._

"_Remus!"_

"_I'm joking Nymphadora. You're so far from being fat, it's not even funny… Especially after last year." The truth was Tonks had lost 30 pounds last year, so now she only weighed 100 pounds._

_Then he kissed her again._

"_So you're not upset."_

"_How could I be, you are going to have a child, my child."_

_That night realization hit Remus._

"_I've made this baby an outcast and it's not even born yet." He thought._

_Tonks was fast asleep and his arm was around her protectively and caringly._

_Whatever had to be said and done could wait until tomorrow._

He never did talk to her about it the next day. It was weird, he was so happy that day, but not the next 4 months. Three months to when he walked out, 1 month after he walked out and came back. So many tears were shed during those 4 months. Tears Remus did wipe away. **(Yes I did mean to copy it.)**


	12. Harry's Birthday Bill & Fleur's Wedding

_**And I know that my heart will**_

_**Go on**_

Tonks smiled at the next memory. It was Harry's Birthday and Bill & Fleur's wedding.

"_Nymphadora, are you ready yet?"_

"_One second Remus." She answered and pretty soon she came down and they were off to the Burrow._

"_HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!" Tonks said when they got there._

_For a while everyone conversed, all waiting for Arthur._

_Suddenly a weasel patronus appeared and said the minister would be coming with him._

_Remus quickly said goodbye, grabbed Tonks' wrist, and pulled her towards the fence to leave. Tonks quickly claimed her goodbyes and they went home._

_When they got home, the fighting and yelling started._

"_What was that for Remus?"_

"_Didn't you hear, the Minister of Magic was coming."_

"_So?"_

"_He won't like to see me there. Especially with you , and your pregnancy."_

"_No one knows yet, and prove to him that it doesn't matter to everyone else that you're a werewolf."_

"_But if he sees you with me, you will loose your job instantly. He would probably fire you right then and there."_

"_He already knows. He was doing random employee checks, where random files fly on his desk and he goes through them, but he was doing that 2 days ago and he got mine."_

"_And?"_

"_He said that we can't help who we love, so he doesn't care."_

"_Good, but what if something slips that you're pregnant? Then he would definitely fire you."_

"_I don't know Remus, I'm going to bed." She stormed away._

_They were going to Bill and Fleur's wedding. Tonks was wearing a dress and Remus was in a tux._

_There was an awkward silence between them after the night before. When they got to the burrow, Arthur told them which one was Harry. So they walked up to Harry and Tonks started._

"_Wotcher." He turned around. "Sorry about last night. The ministry's being very anti-werewolf right now."_

"_It's fine. I understand." He said more to Remus than Tonks. Harry had noticed Remus looked a bit more worried than usual. But George showed them to their seats anyways._

_At the reception, Tonks and Remus's song played so Remus walked up to Tonks._

"_Dance with me?"_

"_Is that a question or a request?" she laughed as they walked to the dance floor._

"_Look, I'm sorry about last night."_

"_Remus, shh, forgive and forget."_

"_I know, I'm just worried about you."_

"_Remus, I'll be fine. I am a trained auror after all."_

"_I know." He leaned down a kissed her._

_Suddenly Kingsley's patronus appeared telling everyone death eaters were coming._

_Tonks and Lupin drew their wands as they appeared. Their voices echoed the whole tent as they yelled "Protego."_

_They fought for a while when suddenly Tonks was pulled somewhere safe by Remus._

"_You need to apparated home, save yourself and the baby."_

"_Remus I'm not leaving you."_

"_Nymphadora, stop being so stubborn. Do you want this child?"_

"_Of course."_

"_Then leave, otherwise it has a chance of dying."_

"_Remus-"_

"_Dora, please."_

"_Alright. Be careful, I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_They kissed and he went back to fighting while she apparated home. He came home 15 minutes later and said they all left as soon as Harry apparated away._

"_I'm going back to help clean up."_

"_I'm going with you."_

"_Alright." So they apparated to the Burrow again._

_Right away Tonks was attacked by Fleur._

"_So nice of you to run away when ze deaz eaters came."_

"_What?" Tonks was bewildered._

"_Did you zink zat we did not notice 'ow you disappeared when zey came?"_

"_Fleur calm down." Bill tried, knowing why Tonks left._

"_No Bill, she is a member of ze Order. Ze Order does not run in fear._

"_She ran because I told her to." Remus interfered._

"_And why did you do zat? She's an auror."_

"_Fleur it's not a big deal." Bill tried again._

"_I left because the baby in my stomach doesn't need to die because I'm "In ze Order." Tonks said mocking her._

_Fleur looked taken a back. As did everyone else but Bill and Remus._

"_You're pregnant." She asked._

"_Yes."_

"_Zen I'm sorry, you 'ad every right to leave."_

"_Apology accepted."_

"_Why didn't you just say so, we would 'ave 'ad a celebration."_

_Tonks just smiled as they all started to clean up._

That night Molly insisted that she make them a nursery. That night she and Fleur started to become friends. They became even more friends when figured out they were pregnant together. That night Kingsley, new head of the auror department since Thicknesse got appointed Minister, told her she would be on desk duty for the next 10 months. Even though she was already a month and a half into her pregnancy. He wanted to make sure she had a full recovery before she started fighting bad guys again.


	13. Remus Leaves 2

_**We'll stay forever this way**_

The next memory she was 3 months along and Remus left her.

_Tonks was sitting in their room, crying. Remus was sitting in their kitchen, thinking._

"_Nymphadora, pack some clothes, we're going to your mother's."_

_Tonks had a feeling about what was planning on doing, but packed anyway. For the past 3 months they had only been fighting. They were ready to apparated away when Tonks noticed something missing._

"_Remus, where's your bag?"_

"_Just never mind, I will be fine."_

_They got to Andromeda's and got settled._

_That night when Tonks went to bed, Remus didn't. He got up and left her 3 months into her pregnancy._

_She woke up the next morning to no Remus, but a letter instead._

_It read:_

_**Love,**_

_**I know you will hate me for this, but I have left you and our unborn child.**_

'_No duh.' She thought as she cried._

_**This baby will be shunned because of what I am. We both know I haven't passed down my lycanthropy to it, so luckily its life and your life will be much easier.**_

'_Not without you.' She thought again._

_**I'm sorry, I had to do this. But now that you're without me, you can get your friends, family, life and job back. I won't be there to hold you back.**_

_She thought of the day Pius fired her after reading her file._

'_He never held me back.'_

_**Once again, I'm terribly sorry. I hope someday you will forgive me.**_

_**Love, yours forever,**_

_**Remus John Lupin**_

_All Tonks wanted to do was lay down and cry, but her pregnancy said otherwise as she had to run to the bathroom for morning sickness._

"_I hate Remus." She said when she finally laid down and cried._

_1 week later, she heard a knock at the door. Her mom was out grocery shopping, so Tonks took extra caution._

_She looked through the peep hole and saw it was Remus. She opened the door, her wand held high in his face._

"_Prove you're Remus."_

"_It is I, Remus John Lupin, werewolf. Married to Nymphadora Tonks, metamorphmagus. I am a stupid cow who ran away from the best thing that ever happened to me."_

"_What color was my hair when I first met you?"_

"_It was purple with spiral curls. You had black highlights and a single streak of lime green."_

"_It's you." So she let him in._

"_Thank you-" _

"_YOU. STUPID. ARSE. REMUS." She yelled firing a spell with each one._

_Luckily Remus had enough time to put up a protection charm. But after those 4 words, she broke down crying._

"_Do you know how long I would stay up each night hoping, praying, you would walk in the room? Do you know how long it took me to cry myself to seep after that?"_

"_Nymphadora, I'm so sorry." He held her in a hug. "I'm a stupid git. I'm luckier than anyone to have you in my life, let alone love me. And I always take you for granted. I'm sorry, you hate me, and I'll leave now."_

"_No, stay." She choked out. "You got one part right, you are a stupid git. But you got one thing wrong, I love you."_

"_I love you too." He held her in his arms and kissed her forehead as she cried._

She loved him that was true, she still does.


	14. Teddy

_**You are safe in my heart and**_

The next memory brought a lot of joy, happiness, and pain. The day Teddy was born.

_Tonks and Remus were asleep. It was 2 in the morning when Tonks awoke suddenly._

"_Remus, wake up!"_

"_What Nymphadora?" he asked sleepily._

"_My water broke."_

"_What?" Remus shot up more awake than ever before at 2 am. "Get dressed, we have to get you to the hospital."_

_So they got up. Tonks threw on some sweatpants and a maternity t-shirt. Remus put on some sweats, a t-shirt and his travelling cloak._

_Then they quickly apparated to St. Mungo's._

_Remus sat in the room with Tonks, who was sleeping now that she had given birth to Teddy._

_He was tapping his foot nervously. Why was he nervous? They knew it wasn't lycanthropic otherwise it would have torn out of Dora's stomach during the first full moon. But maybe he was nervous at the off chance it would be like him. He kept tapping his foot. Tap. Tap. Tap. He started tapping it faster when he heard…_

"_Remus, stop tapping your foot!" Tonks said calmly, her eyes still closed._

"_I'm sorry Nymphadora."_

"_Teddy will be alright, he's not going to be a werewolf, and he won't be shunned because of you."_

"_I know, but just the off chance that he could be one."_

"_He won't be otherwise I would be dead."_

"_I know. I'm going to go tell Harry and the others the good news. So get some sleep."_

"_Okay." So he kissed her forehead and left while she closed her eyes and fell asleep._

So much pain she had gone through those few hours, but luckily Remus was by her side. Now she had a lifetime of pain, without Remus by her side to help her through it.


	15. Remus' Death

_**My heart will go on and on**_

The next memory brought pain, death, near death experience, loved ones lost, and victory. The Battle of Hogwarts.

_Tonks came home after a long day's work._

"_Hello Dora."_

"_Hello Remus." She kissed him as he continued to drink his coffee._

"_Where's Teddy."_

"_In his crib asleep. I assume he will be waking soon, so I'll start his bottle."_

"_Okay, I'm going to check on him."_

_The second she stepped out of the kitchen, Kingsley's patronus appeared._

"_Death Eaters in the castle, Harry Potter too. Hurry Remus, leave Tonks with Teddy because this is bound to get deadly."_

_Remus wrote a brief note explaining everything and then apparated to the castle._

_Tonks came out holding Teddy._

"_Oh he's definitely," she looked up, "Remus?"_

_She saw the bottle on the table next to a note._

_She read the note._

"_I left for Hogwarts. Harry is in the castle and so are death eaters. YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH TEDDY. DO NOT COME AND FIGHT. I love you both so much and if I die it was so you two could be safer._

_Love, Yours Forever,_

_Remus John Lupin._

_Tonks quickly apparated to her mother's._

"_Hello Ny-"_

"_Mom I need you to watch Teddy for a couple hours. No time to explain. But if Remus and I don't come back, tell him how much we loved and do love him. Oh and he needs his bottle."_

"_Okay."_

"_I love you mom, goodbye." She gave her mom a hug and left._

_When she finally found Remus, he was battling Antonin Dolohov. But he soon won that battle._

"_Remus!" she yelled._

"_Nymphadora!" he yelled confused, angry, surprised, and relieved all at once. But she ran to him anyway and he took her in a hug._

_But suddenly he threw her aside as a killing curse hit him in the chest._

"_NO, REMUS!" she ran to him crying._

_Bellatrix Lestrange looked ecstatic._

"_Poor little Nymphie's werewolf is dead." She chanted. But her expression changed when Tonks looked at her with hatred and revenge._

_Bellatrix ran away as Tonks shot killing spell after killing spell at her. When Tonks knew she couldn't get to her, she ran to Remus, flung her body across his chest and cried. She stayed with him while they brought him to the great hall. Ginny tried to comfort her then, but she knew Ginny was grieving over Fred and it only made Tonks feel worse. So as most of the battle went on she cried with her body across Remus' chest._

And that was the end. Harry defeated Voldemort. Molly killed Bellatrix. And Tonks lost Remus.


	16. 11 Years Later

**11 Years Later**

Tonks was seeing Teddy off to Hogwarts. Bill was there with Fleur and Victoire. So he gave Tonks a hug when he saw the tears in her eyes.

"I just wish he was here." He held her.

"I know hun, I know."

Every year for the past 11 years Tonks looked at that scrapbook at least once a week. But she was slowly getting stronger. Her heart was going on.

_**3 Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never… never forget it. –Curtis Judalet 3**_


End file.
